Meditations and Musings

When I go to meditation sessions at the temple, we are told to live in the present.  We are told: don't live in the past and dwell on what happened back then or regret and fret about it (it's gone, over, done with, we can't undo it no matter how much we might want to), and don't worry about what might, or might not, happen in the future, but, rather, focus on the present, this day, this hour, this moment.  We are told to experience the present moment to the fullest, to be fully aware of it, to be fully present, if you will, in the present.

Of course, this doesn't mean that one mustn't make plans.  It's good to make plans, to have goals, to make preparations for various eventualities, but, don't put off living life to the fullest until some future date, don't while away the present until various goals are attained, and don't wish away the present.  Make use of the time you have, which is now, wisely and productively.

According to this way of thinking, reminiscing about the past isn't very productive, for what do you achieve?  There might be some happy memories, which are nice to have and can bring some happiness, but, often, one ends up feeling wistful and sad because those happy times are now over and that's not very productive. Or, we might remember the not so happy times or things, the bad decisions we now regret, the wrongs that others did to us, which fill us with anger, bitterness, and, even, hate and a wish for revenge that eat into us.  Constantly reliving the past doesn't achieve much; you can't undo it and do things over, differently, no matter however much you might want to.  It is better to move on. 

But, don't move on too far into the future, either!  Don't wait until certain things take place in order to fully live your life.  Some of us tend say, "I'll wait until I graduate, until I get a job, until I get married, until the child/children are grown, until I retire, until I am well again", etc. before we do whatever it is that will enable us to fully enjoy life - whether it is using the good china, or the handmade quilts, or travel, or grow a garden, or learn to play the piano.  Don't put off living until some future date.  Don't procrastinate. 

Of course, for us, as Buddhist, the one thing we are admonished to not procrastinate on in accruing merits by doing good deeds.  We are told to not wait until some time in the distant future to do good deeds, to do them now, in the present, while we can, because, the future is not guaranteed!  All we have is now, this day, this hour, this moment. 

I have been thinking on these things, lately.  I am very guilty of reminiscing on the past, recalling times and things both good and bad, happy and sad.  I am also guilty of putting off various things until some nebulous day in the future.  For a while, now, it had been until I fully recovered from the cancer (which was quite reasonable, I think) and until I retired.  Well, it's been 4 years since the cancer was diagnosed and 3 years since my last active treatment date.  I still have some health issues, but, I am well on my way to being fully recovered from the cancer.  And, it has been 1 year since I retired! 

I am going to turn 64 years in a few days; I am not sure how many more birthdays there will be for me to celebrate.    What am I waiting for?  If not now, then, when?  My goal for this upcoming year is to stop procrastinating and do all the things I've been waiting to do!  Starting with the much needed home repairs!  As for the meritorious deeds, the biggest one of the year will be in December, when I hold my annual almsgiving.  Meanwhile, daily prayers and meditations, being kind and compassionate in daily interactions with others, and trying to treat others with loving-kindness or metta (maitri in Sanskrit) in my daily life will have to suffice.

What do you think?