Still Climbing the Mountain

Friday morning, I woke up feeling a bit tired, after another night of going to sleep after 4:00 a.m. and waking up around 9:30 a.m.  I spent a quiet morning, relaxing, because I just didn't feel like doing anything much and feeling guilty about it, because I should have been doing stuff, since I had a to do list as long as my arm.   Anyway, I took a hot shower later in the morning and felt better.

My gardener friend came over in the afternoon and he helped me rearrange the furniture (living room sofas, which normally face each other, were arranged in an L-shape; a second coffee table was set up  in front of the smaller sofa, the trolley was brought in from the family room, etc.).  Then, I vacuumed the main part of the house (living room, dining area, family room, hallway, and kitchen; decided the bedrooms could wait until later) and cleaned both bathrooms.  I rested a bit more and debated whether to continue with my list or wait until Saturday when my friend came over to help.  But I decided that I could do a few more things, so that I wouldn't get too tired on Saturday. 

 Friday's To Do List:
- Grocery shop for fresh produce?
- Wash almsgiving dishes* - DONE
- Take out serving dishes, basins used for washing hands, serving spoons, etc.*
- Take out plates, bowls, etc. for guests*
- Final cleaning - dust, vacuum, etc. - living room, dining room, family room - DONE
- Kitchen - counters - DONE
- Clean bathrooms/set out guest towels, etc.- DONE
- Rearrange furniture - sofas, coffee tables, tall round side table (for reliquary), trolley (for plates of offerings), remove blue & white vases near fireplace (so I can set the small sofa in front of the fireplace) - my gardener friend will help with moving the furniture - DONE
- Put cashews to soak (Friday night) - DONE
- Set out items needed for the transfer of merit: teapot, cup, and water basin; fill teapot with water*
- Take out chair covers, table cloths, napkins, etc.; cover chairs, tables*
- Candles/incense sticks & holder; lighter/matches* - DONE
- New bottle of water for blessing; bowl to catch drips when blessed water is poured out* - DONE
- Set out items for washing hands: fresh cake of soap, hand towels, jugs & basins*
- Water the garden

I had washed all the everyday dishes I had used and cleaned the kitchen counters, when I decided to start washing the almsgiving dishes - 6 plates, 6 bowls, 6 basins, etc.  I was in the process of rinsing them when I got a cramp in my right hand, at the base of the thumb.  My thumb was folded against the palm and I had to physically straighten it out with my other hand, but it kept cramping.  I finished rinsing the dishes with my left hand, turned off the music I was listening to while I did the dishes, and headed to the bathroom since I needed to use it.  On the way, I sort of felt myself brushing against the wall in the hallway.  When I got to the bedroom, I sat on the bed because my hand was cramping again and it was painful.  Then, I proceeded to the bathroom.


I must have fainted.  I don't remember falling.

The next thing I knew was my head pressing hard against something.  The pressure of it caused a pain and I opened my eyes and at first, I didn't know what I was looking at.  It took a few seconds to realize I was looking at the bathroom trash can and I was on the floor between the toilet and the bathtub with my head against the edge of the bathtub/shower door.  Apparently I hit my head on the edge of the tub/shower door.  And I was sweating.  And I still needed to use the toilet!

So, I picked myself off the floor, used the toilet, changed my clothes, applied some ice to my forehead (had two big bumps!), said my nightly prayers, texted my daughter to ask if she was still awake (she was) then called her to tell her what had happened.  She wanted me to call the paramedics, but I didn't want to.  Looking back, maybe I should have, but at the time, I didn't want to make a fuss.  Instead, I called my cousin who lives across the street to ask her if she could come over and be with me for a bit because I didn't want to go to sleep right away.   She came over and I checked my blood pressure; it was normal.  My speech wasn't slurred, I was able to read and write, etc.  So, I didn't think I had had a stroke. 

My cousin was with me until 2:00 a.m. and then, I told her to go home and I went to sleep.  I woke up a couple of times, but went back to sleep each time and woke up around 9:00 a.m. on Saturday morning.  Daughter wanted to know if she was to come down, but I told her not to.

I called my clinic, but it being Saturday, they were closed.  I called their message center and they tried to call the clinic, too, and said it was supposed to be open on the first Saturday of the month, but they, too, couldn't get through.  Then I tried to page the radiation oncologist to find out if I should take my last dose of the steroids, but I couldn't reach him, either.  I finally called the regular oncologist's office and left a message for the doctor on call.  He asked if I have been eating and drinking enough; I told him I have been eating, but maybe not drinking as much as I should be.  He said I might have been dehydrated; that I am on some very strong medicines that need a lot of fluid in take to counter act the side effects.  So, I have been trying to drink a lot more fluids.

I called the temple and explained to the monks what had happened and cancelled the almsgiving.  I knew I couldn't do all the work that was involved in my present state of health.  I cried because I was so disappointed.  I had been so keen on having the almsgiving and had planned it in such detail.  But I just couldn't do it, this year.  I also called my friend who was coming to help me, the other friend who was going to cook some of the dishes for me, and my cousins, to let them know that the event was cancelled.

My friend came over, anyway, to check on me.  And one of my cousins and her mother came over, too, with some soup for my lunch, and stayed with me the rest of the day, well into the evening, so I wouldn't be alone.  They wanted to take me to the emergency room, but I didn't think it was necessary.  I knew I had an appointment with my radiation oncologist on Monday afternoon, and thought I would be OK till then.  I had put the cashews to soak on Friday evening, and they had been soaking all day, Saturday, so I asked my cousin to rinse them for me and I put them to boil.  Afterwards, she put them in the fridge, for me.  Once my cousin and aunt left, I got into bed and video chatted a bit with my daughter before going to sleep.

Sunday was another quiet, restful day.  One of the monks came to visit me and brought me lunch!   It was a reverse almsgiving!  I gave him the sweets I had bought for the almsgiving and the monetary donations I had got ready, earlier.  We will consider that as this year's almsgiving, although it was so not what I had planned.

Later in the evening, the friend who was going to help me with the cooking came over and brought me dinner.

Today, I spent a quiet morning.  I had called my gardener friend and asked if he could stop by to water the front garden for me, since I couldn't do it over the weekend and was afraid to do it myself until I had seen the doctor; so he came in the morning and watered the front garden for me.  In the afternoon, I went to my appointment with the radiation oncologist.  I was a bit nervous to drive by myself without being seen by a doctor after my fall, and my cousins couldn't drive me because they needed to be back by a certain time and I wasn't sure how long the doctor's visit would take, so one of the monks from the temple drove me.

The radiation oncologist put in a request for an MRI; we are waiting for insurance to authorize it and then, I will be scheduled, hopefully sometime this week.  The doctor wants to see me again, next week, to go over the MRI results.  On the way home, I stopped by the pharmacy to pick up another medication refill.


Today, I cleaned the litter box, took the trash out, and watered the back garden with the sprinklers.   My cousin and aunt came over to visit me in the evening and my cousin bagged up the boiled cashews to freeze.  I will finish cooking them another day.

I also received a jury duty summons in the mail today!  They want me to report for jury duty on January 3.  I don't know if I am well enough for that, now, after my fall.  Tomorrow, I will call and ask if I can postpone it for a few months until I am better. 

Tomorrow, I will also call my regular clinic and inform them of what happened and see if I need to go in to see a doctor (or the physician assistant).  I also have an appointment with the regular oncologist on Friday.  My radiation oncologist said it was OK for me to drive, so I won't need to ask people for rides to my medical appointments.

I am grateful for:
- I didn't crack my head open when I fell and knocked it against the bathtub/shower door
- I didn't break any bones; I've a bruise on my knee (must have knocked it on the tiled floor) and some aches and pains from the fall, but nothing is broken
- The swelling on my forehead is going down and there doesn't seem to be any bruise
- It wasn't a heart attack
- It wasn't a stroke
- I am still alive
- My cousin coming over in the middle of the night and staying with me until 2:00 a.m.
- My family and friends visiting and bringing me meals
- The monk driving me to my doctor's appointment, today
- My gardener friend coming over to water the garden for me

I guess I did a bit too much, got too stressed and tired.  Need to relax and take it easy.  I am rethinking my plans for the holidays, as well.  I think I will not put up a Christmas tree or do much decorating, if any.  I will probably not make all the jams and marmalade I had been planning to make as gifts, either.  Just going to take it easy and rest.

Just a very short and simple to do list for tomorrow:

Tuesday's to do list:
- Call clinic to see if I need to see a doctor
- Call jury duty to postpone service
- Office work
- Bring trash can in

Hope your weekend was better than mine!