Thursday, February 7, 2019

Remembering my Mother on Thursday

The Garden in Bloom

Today marks the 13th anniversary of my mother's death.  It has been a long 13 years, but I still miss her every day.  I have written about my mother here and in various other posts. 

I spent a quiet morning, reminiscing.  Later, in the afternoon, I went to the cemetery to visit her grave.  I took a bouquet of flowers, but the in-ground vase was covered with grass, and when I pulled out the grass, I found it was full of mud from the recent rains!

Mud Filled Vase
Not only was the vase filled with mud, there was mud wedged between it and the opening of the hole in which it sits!  I tried using a twig to dig out the mud, but the twig broke!  Finally, after some effort, I managed to loosen the mud and tugged out the vase, emptied the mud, washed it off (there are taps at intervals, around the cemetery) and filled it with fresh water for my flowers.  When the grounds people remove the flowers every week, they are supposed to turn the vases upside down in the openings, so they don't fill up with water and mud, but, I suppose that's an extra job and they don't always do it. 

I said a prayer at my mother's grave, and stayed there for a little bit.  It is a very peaceful setting, although there is a fairly busy road nearby:

The View in One Direction
I chose this particular spot in the cemetery for her grave because of the view of the mountains in the distance.

In this cemetery, the grave stones are set flat on the ground, which gives the cemetery a park-like feel:

The View in the Other Direction

I was pleased to see that, although the vase was full of mud, my mother's grave stone was not covered by mud as it had been on a previous occasion:

Mother's Grave Stone

I felt a bit restless when I left the cemetery.  It was a sunny, bright day and I felt like driving somewhere, but I didn't know where I wanted to go.  So, I went home!  I tried taking a nap on the sofa, but, I couldn't fall asleep.  I rested, though, until Dancer came to remind me that it was time for his tea! 

Brunch had been a pita bread (from the freezer, warmed up in the microwave; counts as two servings of carbs) and some of the mackerel curry I had made, earlier.  In the evening, before I had my cup of tea, I had a snack of cucumber slices and salsa.  It wasn't quite as satisfying as tortilla chips, but the cucumber "chips" made an OK substitute.  Dinner was the leftover sole, with broccoli, carrots, and corn (measured out 1/3 cup frozen corn, before cooking).  There is another serving of broccoli and carrots, leftover, for tomorrow, but I ate all the corn!  So, today was not quite low carb, as I had two servings with brunch and one serving with dinner.

Dinner: Sole, Corn, Broccoli, and Carrots
For dessert, I had a small peach.  We will not count the carbs in that!  But, it was better for me than what I really wanted, which was some type of pastry, or cake, or pudding!

Friend R called and we chatted for a bit.  Later, I video chatted with my daughter.

Today, I am grateful for:
- Having my mother for as long as I did
- Being her daughter
- Being able to visit her grave
- Memories
- My daughter, who is so much like her grandmother

How was your Thursday?  What are your plans for Friday?  Can you believe that already the first week in February is over?


  1. One of my favourite Bible verses says "The memory of the just is blessed" May you be blessed today as you remember your Mum xx

    1. Thank you, Angela. I find comfort in my memories of her. :)

    2. I don't remember that Bible verse, Angela. It may become one of my favorites now.

      Bless, I'm glad that you found comfort in the memories of your mother. It sounds like you had a special relationship just like you and your daughter do.

    3. Thank you, Live and Learn. Yes, we were very close, my mother and I, and I think my daughter and I have a similarly close relationship. :)

  2. I love the post you wrote about your mom. She sounds like an amazing woman. No wonder you miss her, especially on her death anniversary.
    I'd like to think that loved ones watch over us even when they are not with us. That's what think of my dad when I really miss him. That comforts me a lot.

    1. Thank you, Nil. She was very different from me in many ways, but she was a very special person. She didn't let anything hold her back.

      Yes, it's very comforting to think that our departed loved ones are watching over us, isn't it? I do the same. :)

  3. It sounds like you had a deep connection to your mum, Bless, and that you've had a quiet day reflecting on who she was and your love for her. MegXx

    1. Thank you, Meg. Yes, my mother and I had a very close relationship and she was a major influence in my life. My father died when I was 7, so my mother was the primary parent. :)

  4. Your mother sounds like a very strong, resilient woman who was larger than life. I am glad you are able to go somewhere to visit and stay with her for a while.

    1. She really was larger than life when it came to her personality, Susan. She was physically quite petite, but, she was a force to be reckoned with! Yes, I'm glad the cemetery is quite close to my house. Both my father's and step-father's graves are in Sri Lanka, and I miss having a place to visit on their death anniversaries. My daughter doesn't believe in visiting grave sites, but, it is important to me. :)

  5. That is a lovely peaceful place where your mother is buried. My own mother died 10 years ago in England and she is buried in a "green" burial plot with a cherry tree planted on her grave and a small marker at the base of it. It too, is a very peaceful place and one which she would have been content with as she didn't like the cemeteries with upright markers and statues. She would have approved of having a tree for her beloved birds to visit and perhaps feed on in the fall. I just wish it wasn't so many thousands of miles away, so I could visit from time to time.

    1. It is hard when loved ones are buried far away, isn't it? Both my father and step-father are buried in Sri Lanka. I wish this cemetery would allow us to plant some flowers at the grave sites, but they permit only cut flowers. Although, I have seen others leaving potted plants and various other seasonal decorations.

  6. Your mum sounds like an amazing and strong woman. It is understandable you miss her terribly and I hope you find some comfort in the wonderful memories you keep.
    It sounds like you were very close, similar to the relationship you have with your own daughter and that is something to treasure.
    Thinking of you. X

    1. Thank you, Jules. She was pretty amazing, I think, although I might be biased! Yes, we were very close and I like to think that my daughter and I have a similarly close relationship. I feel very blessed when it comes to have been my mother's daughter and my daughter's mother! I know your relationship with Lily will be as close when she grows up. It will grow and develop.


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