Sunday, February 7, 2021

Fifteen Years

Mother (one of the last photos taken of her)

It's been fifteen years since you left us, Amma.  It's hard to realize just how much time has passed; sometimes, it feels like just yesterday.  I can still remember feeling reluctant to go to the office that morning, after you had been ill the day before.  But, M was coming to tend to the garden, later that morning, and you were looking forward to him making French toast for you for breakfast, and his aunt Katy who was our neighbor from a couple of doors down was coming to check on you, as well.  I hadn't been at the office for very long when the phone calls began to come, one after the other - M calling to tell me he had to call the paramedics, cousin P calling to tell me I had better go home, and then, one of the paramedics, himself.  My supervisor and a colleague drove me home - my colleague driving my car and my supervisor following so he could drive my colleague back to the office, afterwards.

M said your last words to him had been to ask how it was going.  Earlier in the morning, you had told him, "I can't do this any more, M", and he had been concerned.  But, later, he had been in the backyard planting bean seeds and you had come to the sliding glass door at the back and asked how it was going.  He had given you the thumbs up and you had gone back to your chair in the living room.  That's where Katy found you, a few minutes later, unresponsive.

You always did love to garden.  Even when we lived in an apartment, you still grew things in pots!  You were someone who could poke a dead stick into some soil and have it grow into a flourishing plant!  I still feel your presence in the garden when I am there and M and I have a running joke that your spirit tends to the rose bushes and cause them to flower even when I tend to neglect them.  You will be pleased to know that we have bought new fruit trees to plant in the garden!  

Last year, I hosted a prayer gathering in your memory and went to the Temple.  This year, I am unable to do that, but, I do offer prayers in your honor.

May you be free from pain and suffering, from hurt and sorrow.  May you attain the ultimate release of Nibbana (Nirvana). 

28 comments:

  1. What a wonderful tribute. She sounds like a wonderful lady. It sounds like she was a true blessing in your life.
    Happy Sunday- xo Diana

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    1. Thank you, Diana. Yes, she was a wonderful lady and I am blessed to have had her as my mother. :)

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  2. Beautiful words for a beautiful woman xx

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  3. You always write so fondly of your mother and it's wonderful you enjoyed such a close and loving relationship.
    Thinking of you today. X

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  4. It is hard to remember the passing of a loved one, but it something we never forget. You mother would be proud of the garden you and M have continued to create and it sounds like she was a beautiful woman inside and out.

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    1. Thank you, June. Yes, she was a beautiful woman inside and out and a force to be reckoned with! :D

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  5. This is such a beautiful tribute to your mother Bless. Hugs and prayers!

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  6. Such a beautiful photo. How strong the memories are of the day when we lose a loved one. When I heard my mother died, I was sitting in the gazebo with a cup of tea, admiring the flowers, and DH brought the phone out to me. I thought how appropriate to already have a cup of tea to deal with such sad news!

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    1. Thank you, Bushlady. Yes, a cup of tea would have been the ideal drink under the circumstances. :) In fact, my mother and I were both drinking cups of tea when I noticed that my step-father, who was sleeping at the time, seemed unnaturally still and went to check on him! Apparently, he had passed away in his sleep!

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  7. What a lovely tribute. It brought tears to my eyes.

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  8. What a lovely photo! Your mum reminds me strongly of someone - I don't know whether a famous person or a member of my family. Maybe it will come to me.

    I'm sorry you can't mark the anniversary as you would have liked, but this is a lovely piece of writing and although circumstances prevent your going to the temple in person, your sentiments remain undiminished.

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    1. Thank you, Lady Ella. I picked some flowers from the garden to place by her photo on the mantel and, later in the evening, played some of her favorite songs on the piano and sang. I think she would have approved! :D

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  9. A very lovely tribute to your mother. She sounds like a kind, lovely woman. I still think daily of mine, tho she's been gone 6 years now. Time heals, but memories are always there and bitter sweet. Best, Celie

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    1. Thank you, Celie. I'm sorry to hear that you, too, have lost your mother. Yes, the memories remain and are bitter sweet. (((HUGS)))

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  10. Your mother was a beautiful woman. I know it still hurts deeply. Our moms are always our moms whether they are on this plane or the next.

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    1. Thank you, Anne. I do still miss her, although I don't miss some of the difficulties we had when her health began to deteriorate. But, yes, they remain our mothers, no matter what. :)

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  11. She is so beautiful. I love people who are green thumbs. I'm sorry for your loss, but am happy to hear that you feel her presence.

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    1. Thank you, Stephenie. She used to spend hours in the garden, every day! Even after she needed to use a walker, she'd be in the garden with the walker, watering the plants! :)

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  12. What a lovely “conversation” you had with your mother, Bless. Your mother is in a lovely place. My mother won’t allow me to take a photo of her. I think I will try and sneak one. Have a contented week. ❤️

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    1. Thank you, Susan. My mother loved to pose for a photograph! LOL.

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  13. I was very moved by this post. I'm sure it was a very emotional piece to write.
    Thank you for sharing your memories of your mother on this day. I hope those memories are a comfort to you and your daughter.

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    1. Thank you, Debra. I'm always talking to her! Especially when I am in the garden, watering or weeding or just strolling around. Yes, the memories are a comfort to me and to my daughter. :)

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  14. Oh, Bless! I remember well when you shared the news of your dear Mother’s passing with our little organizing group. She was such a lovely radiant woman ... you can just see her beautiful soul in her sparkling and friendly eyes. She would be (and was) so proud of you and your dear daughter! Hugs to you my friend, and thank you for sharing sweet and bittersweet memories.

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    1. Thank you, Carolyn. Yes, she was a very radiant woman who greeted life with open arms. Until the very end, when the onset of dementia caused the world to become a confusing place. I remember crying the day she asked me who I was!

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