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| Winter Roses |
Thank you, again, to everyone who has sympathized with us over the loss of our much loved Dancer. I've shared your comments with daughter and we both appreciate your caring. We really miss him.
On Friday, I did another load of laundry, swept and mopped the kitchen, the bathroom, and my bedroom. I made a few phone calls and confirmed the date of the almsgiving with the monks at the temple and made plans to visit one of my cousins as her daughter and grandsons are visiting from New York.
M was here to tend to the garden on Friday evening and he took down the bin with the spare strands of lights for the Christmas tree, but, I haven't made any further efforts to decorate the tree and daughter is not in the mood to do anything, either.
Friend R visited on Friday evening to pick up her packages that she had delivered to my address. We chatted a bit and had tea before she left. Daughter and I offered to drive her to her apartment, but, she didn't want to trouble us, she said. So, daughter called for a ride for her. Friend R has offered to come and help me with the almsgiving preparations, which is very kind of her.
Much later in the evening, daughter wanted to talk and we got into a rather intense discussion about religion and why I believe what I believe, and did I think action A carried more merit than action B, etc. She had a lot of questions and I tried to answer to the extent I could. By the time we finished our discussion, it was past 4:00 a.m. and then, daughter went to bed. I, on the other hand, stayed up till after 7:00 a.m.
On Saturday, daughter woke me up at 11:00 a.m. to let me know that one of her friends had called to let her know that she wanted to drop something off. I had only had 4 hours of sleep, but, I got up and got dressed. Her friend brought us a lovely orchid plant and stayed for a chat and a visit.
Later in the afternoon, daughter and I went to the pharmacy to pick up one of my medications and afterwards, we went to the adjoining dollar store to look around. I bought another packet of white tissue paper, white paper napkins for the almsgiving, and some frozen food (Jamaican hand pies, burritos) and snacks (microwave popcorn). Daughter found a couple of crafts supplies. I think we both benefitted from being out of the house for a bit.
I cooked some ground beef for dinner, with tomatoes, grated carrots, and spices added to it, and I boiled some spaghetti. Daughter had her spaghetti with the ground beef mixture and pesto. I opened a jar of spaghetti sauce for my ground beef and pasta. The leftovers are in the fridge for another meal.
I also spoke with Aunt C in the evening. According to her daughter, Aunt C has been diagnosed with dementia. I had my suspicions based on previous chats with Aunt C, but, I didn't want to say anything until my cousin confirmed it.
Plans for Sunday include making my New Year cards and wrapping up a few gifts.
I am grateful for:
- Everyone's kind comments and empathy
- Daughter's friends being there for her
- A lovely sympathy card with a personal note from Dancer's vet
- The availability of medications
- Working appliances
Joyful activities have included spending time with daughter, knitting, planning the almsgiving.
Hope you are all having a lovely weekend.
I totally understand that you and your daughter are not in the festive mood. But I find the lights on our tree make me smile. Maybe they could do the same for you.
ReplyDeleteThank you, June. We did turn on the lights on the tree the other night and it did make the room feel a little cozier and warmer. Daughter will be out most of the day, today, with her friends and maybe I can get the extra lights the tree and have the tree lit up when she comes home.
DeleteThe rose is very lovely. Discussions about our beliefs and faith can be very intense, but hopefully fruitful and illuminating. I'm sorry your aunt has dementia, it is a hard diagnosis for the individual and their family. Both my parents suffered from it. I hope that the almsgiving goes well, and that you and your daughter find comfort in each other.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Celie. I remember asking myself quite a few questions about my own religious beliefs after my mother's death. It is all a part of the process of coming to terms with the death of someone we love, I think.
DeleteMy mother, too, had dementia towards the end of her life.
Almsgiving preparations are coming along well. I just need to pace myself on the last couple of days, but my daughter and my friend R will be here to help. :)
Dear friend, please give yourself time to mourn....and to heal. I am sure in time you will find it in yourself to adopt a cat...when you feel ready. Sending you love and hugs.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Linda. We are taking it one day at a time right now, just coming to terms with what has happened. :)
DeleteI hope your discussions helped your daughter with her own understanding of faith and what it means. Doubts and anger and confusion often happen at critical points.
ReplyDeleteThank you, FD. We are encouraged to question and make our own decisions when it comes to accepting what is taught as past of our religion. Sometimes, doing so exposes inconsistencies between what is taught and what is actually practiced. When that happens, some of us (the majority, I might say), just shrug our shoulders and come to terms with it. Others, however, find the inconsistencies harder to accept and question why there should be inconsistencies in the first place. Sometimes, that leads to some intense discussions. :)
DeleteReligion can be a very intense subject, even with those closest to us. I hope you were able to catch up on sleep a bit. I'm sorry to hear your Aunt C has been diagnosed with Dementia. Sending you a few more big hugs!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Martha. The big hugs are appreciated. :)
DeleteYes, religion can be a very intense subject, especially when cultural norms are also brought into question. I have always encouraged my daughter to ask questions and have always tried to answer them to the best of my abilities. But, I accept inconsistencies and move on; my daughter, however, wishes to debate, even when it is a moot point.
I'm sorry to hear that your aunt has been diagnosed with dementia. Someone was saying the other day, that when you forget where you put your car keys, it is just typical aging memory, but when you forget what those keys are used for, it is dementia.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Bushlady. That is a very good way to tell the difference between forgetfulness and dementia.
DeleteYour talk with your daughter about your beliefs sounds like an important one to have especially with Dancer's passing. I'm sure it helped calm her hearing why you believe the things you do.
ReplyDeleteI imagine you were happy to discuss these things with her.
Sending sincere condolences on your loss of Dancer. It's hard to lose a family member, and I hope that you can be comforted by knowing that he had the best owner. All hugs x
ReplyDelete