Monday, May 22, 2017

Monday: Oncology Appointment

Today, I went to see the oncologist to have whatever it was that I had felt checked out.  I actually met with the nurse practitioner since the oncologist was out due to some emergency, but she consulted with him on the phone while I was there, so that was fine.

My pressure was good and my weight was fine.  The nurse practitioner was very busy with both her patients and the doctor's patients, since he was out!  As a result, although my appointment was for 10:15 a.m., I didn't get called in to see the nurse practitioner until after 11:30 a.m.  And even then, I had to wait for another 15 minutes or so before she came into the examining room to see me.

She examined me and she could feel it too.  A palpable nodule is what she called it.  She checked the cyst I had on the stomach, as well.  She said the nodule on the breast could be a stitch (it is just above the incision, but I doubt it is a stitch because the surgeon used a type of glue and not stitches; maybe some scar tissue, though), or a cyst; beyond that, she wouldn't say without further tests.  She didn't dismiss it out of hand, however, as I haven't had a follow-up mammogram after the treatment, yet.  She then called the oncologist to consult with him and that she was going to put in a request for an ultrasound, as a mammogram couldn't be done due to the inflammation.  He agreed with her.

So, she has put in the request and now we wait for insurance to approve and schedule.  She also ordered additional blood work and they will check for cancer markers (the last blood test which I did in April said the cancer markers were good).  I have a follow-up appointment with her in July, but if results come in before that which warrant a visit sooner, someone will call from the clinic to schedule an earlier appointment.  She also wanted me to call the radiation oncologist and tell him what happened, so I called and spoke to the nurse and updated her.

I didn't leave the clinic until 12:30 p.m. and then, I went to the office.  Today, someone had brought in mochi ice cream, which are Japanese rice cakes filled with ice cream!  Again, no particular reason for a treat - other than it being a Monday!

After work, I put gas ($22.82) to the car and did a little bit of grocery shopping.  Milk ($1.99 for 1/2 gal.), flavored coffee creamer ($1.99), strawberries (2 lbs. @ $.88/lb), cold cuts ($2.50) for sandwiches, and some cans of juice drinks (8 @ $.25 + deposit).  My total came to $10.64.


May 22 Groceries


May 22 Grocery Receipt


I kept wanting a treat when I was at the grocery store - I was tempted by the apple pies ($2.99), the ice cream ($3.49), ready made flan (small single serve cups for $.99), cook & serve chocolate pudding mixes ($1.00; I don't like the instant mixes), even frozen cheesecake ($5.99) although the last time I had frozen cheesecake, I didn't like it.   Sigh.  I know I am an emotional eater and the treats I wanted were to make me feel better, but I didn't buy any.  I treated myself to one of the cans of juice drinks, though, after I came home.

Came home and took the trash cans to the curb, called a cousin and spoke with an aunt who called.  Another cousin texted me and said she's saying a special prayer for me to Our Lady of Lourdes as she has great faith in Her.

I didn't do anything much, tonight.  I should have put away the dried laundry and the dishes, and washed the few dishes that are sitting in the sink, and cooked some of those vegetables I bought last week, but I didn't feel like doing any of it.  I had a sandwich for dinner (and a can of the juice drink) and spent the evening video chatting with daughter.  I do need to clean the litter box before I go to bed, though.

So now, we wait for the ultrasound to find out what is going on.  I am telling myself not to anticipate and worry until we get the ultrasound results.  Easier said than done, of course.  I am already second guessing what we've done.  Maybe the lumpectomy wasn't enough?  Maybe I should have had a mastectomy?  The oncologist had told me, when I first went to see him and he outlined the recommended treatments, that if the cancer returned, they automatically consider it as stage 4.   I am hoping and praying that it is something benign and not a return of the cancer. 

Today, I am grateful for:
- Being able to see the nurse practitioner
- Knowing the necessary diagnostic tests will be done
- Having medical insurance
- The staff at the clinic who always inquire after my daughter
- Prayers of family and friends on my behalf

Tuesday's To Do List:
- Go to the office
- Bring the trash cans in
- Do the dishes
- Cook the vegetables


How was your Monday?  Did you have a good day?

34 comments:

  1. ((HUGS)), Bless. You did an excellent job staying away from the sweets, I wish I had your willpower. You are a strong woman who is able to see the positive in every situation. Second guessing yourself is only going to cause more anxiety. I know it's very hard to wait, I wish all the tests results would come back much sooner and show that there's nothing to worry about, but those are things we can't control, unfortunately. I wish you the best, my dear Bless.

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    1. Thank you, Nathalie. I told myself if I really wanted the sweets, I could make them myself! I think it is a good thing I didn't go in search of chocolate, though, because if I had, I might have bought some! It's something I can't make! LOL.

      Everything will fall into place when the time is right. I just have to wait and hope and pray. My prayer is that I live long enough and be healthy enough to be there for my daughter for as long as she needs me or, at least, until she is a little more established with a family of her own, so she won't be alone when I am dead. I hope the universe will be kind to me and grant my prayer.

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  2. And tomorrow you can be thankful that your friends in the blog world are sending you positive thoughts and prayers.

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    1. Thank you, Live and Learn. I consider all of you as my friends and include each and everyone of you in my nightly prayers for good health and happiness. I knew you would all send me positive thoughts, well wishes, and prayers. I know I am blessed to have such loving friends.

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    2. Bless, I am very touched that you include us in your nightly prayers. When I started blogging, I never dreamed of the friendships I would make.

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    3. My daughter laughs when I talk about "so and so, my blog friend". It was she who suggested I started a blog and now, I can't imagine not blogging!

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  3. Poor you! A long wait! It is admirable you turned down the treats but I am like you...in that I tend to treat myself if things are stressful. It does help and you did deserve it! I hope the tests come out ok and it is nothing serious! Andrea

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    1. Thank you, Andrea. I knew that if I bought them, I would eat them and, most probably, not even enjoy what I was eating! That's how I put on the weight! I ate some of the strawberries as a treat, instead, after I posted, and that was a healthy treat.

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  4. Sorry to hear that you have this additional stress right now! Sending good thoughts your way!

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    1. Thank you so much, TrayceeBee. I know you have plenty on your plate as it is, so I really appreciate you commenting.

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  5. Monday sounds like a good enough reason to me for celebrating with treats brought into the office. Unfortunately, it doesn't sound like you were too late back to the office to partake of any.

    It is a good thing that you got into the oncologist's office quickly, and that they are scheduling further tests for you. Of course I can't tell you not to worry, because who wouldn't be? So I will send you lots of (((hugs))) and prayers and positive thoughts your way.

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    1. Thank you, Susan. All hugs and prayers and positive thoughts are appreciated. I am taking it one day at a time, praying for good health, grace, and strength. It's all I can do at this point, isn't it?

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  6. ((((((HUGS)))) Bless. Praying for you my friend that it is nothing that is harmful to you. I know that the waiting to hear back is so hard and anxiety can take over. Praying for peace as you wait also.

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    1. Thank you, Debbie. I appreciate your prayers on my behalf, and the hugs, too, of course.

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  7. I think you're doing what everybody would in the circumstances regarding second guessing Bless. It would be hard not to think about all possible scenarios and like you say trying not to worry is easier said than done. Your medical team really do sound like they have their finger on the pulse though. Praying that the blood results are good and that it goes some way to easing your concerns. Xx

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    1. Thank you, Suzanne. I keep telling myself whatever happens, it happens for a reason, even if the reason is not all that apparent. I do feel blessed when it comes to the medical care I'm receiving because, they are taking my concerns seriously and doing what they can to get things checked. And I feel confident they will help me come up with a plan of further treatment, if required. Just have to take it one day at a time.

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  8. Sending you love and strength Bless. X

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    1. Thank you, Jules. Appreciate it very much.

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  9. All will be well and all will be well and all manner of things will be well.
    I understand how frightening this is. I wish I could offer more that simlle words of wisdom. Please know that so many are thinking of you and praying for you in so many ways.

    Siobhan

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    1. Thank you, Siobhan. I know that I am being led down paths I wouldn't have chosen to go on, myself, and I must have faith that there is a reason for it. I don't know that reason, yet, and maybe I will never know it, but others might see and know, someday. I am telling myself that my part is to travel with hope and faith. :)

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  10. Hugs and hugs Bless, my prayers are with you and for your daughter too. You are strong I would have succumbed to the treats! I had good news with my blood tests on Monday, my B12 are almost in the normal range and the thyroid is improving and not so good my CRP (for RA) level was way up, but not surprising as my hands are in a bad way. Oh and those strawberries look so yummy! Have a good day.

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    1. Thank you, Sharon. I'm glad you got good news as far as the B12 and thyroid are concerned; sorry to hear about the RA, but, hope that will improve, too. I ate more of the strawberries, today and they were good!

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  11. Prayers sent your way today, tomorrow . . .

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    1. Thank you, Anne. I appreciate them all.

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  12. I wish I knew what words to use to explain that it's critical to give yourself positive messages at every opportunity while stomping out any negatives thoughts. You are not a medico and you must wrap yourself in positive outcomes.
    You have very strong religious convictions and this is the best time to concentrate on your beliefs and positive thinking. Imagine and list all the enjoyable activities you and DD might undertake. Would you consider introducing DD to her SL roots? Visit country of origin? Visit other American landmarks? Disneyland offers magic for adults too!

    Even more important, your instincts are good. Stick to your guns and reject sugary junk. Real fruit is excellent, fruit drinks/juice are better left on the shelf. [Notice I'm not mentioning nutrition for the time being]

    You can count on us to carry the load and offer prayers to our personal deities.

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    1. Thank you, Hon. I appreciate that fact that you are taking time and energies off from your own recent surgery and recovery to offer positive thoughts and prayers for me. I hope your recovery is coming along well and all will be fine. Take care.

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  13. Will say a prayer and cross my fingers - I wish I was as strong as you, you're wonderful and an inspiration when I feel scared and down. Enjoy every positive thing in your life - you deserve to! Christine x

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    1. Thank you, Christine, for your kind words and prayers. Yes, I am scared and anxious, of course, but I try to look for the positive side of things. I try to have hope and faith and the belief that everything happens for a reason. The important thing is to live fully in the present and appreciate the here and now.

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  14. How easily we can be pushed down with alarming news, and yet, for the moment, the future is just as likely to be bright, who knows! I pray for your peace of mind and for this blip on the radar to turn out to be no more than "a small flock of birds" passing by. You have a host of caring people concerned about you and praying for you. Be still and let the love flow over you. ((((HUGS))))

    Bushlady

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    1. Thank you, Bushlady. I am still very much on that mountain, aren't I? Maybe it's a whole mountain range! But I know I am blessed to have so many caring friends who are supporting me.

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  15. Bless, you simply amaze me. I can only imagine the anxiety you must be feeling inside, but your strength - physical, emotional, and ESPECIALLY spiritual never cease to amaze me. In the respect, and many others, you remind me of my Mama. She was, without a doubt, the strongest person I have ever known (she had to be be to birth & raise 10 of us brats)! When we initially learned of her cancer, all of us kids were just torn to pieces, emotionally. SHE was comforting US! She encouraged all of us to talk about how we felt and when a few of us mentioned anger, she question, who? When we said God, she said, well first of all, go ahead and be angry with him right now if that's how you feel because that means you are talking to Him and He can take it! Our pastor was at her house that day visiting when when we were talking about it (come to find out, she had called him over for US - always taking care of us when we should have been taking care of her). He stood and listened. She then told us, "It is what it is, girls" (my brothers did not come that day). She continued by telling us that on the day each of us was born, each and every day of our lives were already planned - from beginning to end. Pastor Bob told me later that he felt as if he should have been the one that had requested the session because HE ending up gain being the "student" while she was the teacher.

    Your wisdom, kindness, courage, strength, class, attention to detail, and organization (just to name a few attributes) remind me so much of my Mama. I will make sure to pray for you when my husband and I say our nightly prayers - prayers for good results, peace, strength and all of the same for your daughter.

    This may sound really off (and stalkerish - lol - for the record, I am just a 40 year old Special Education Teacher who was born and raised in NC), but folks come into each others lives just when we need them....whether we know it or not. I also believe that everything happens for a reason, although as I have verbalized before, I (the human-side of me) think they stink sometimes - or what I can understand of them at that time. I am uncertain exactly how to express what I want to here, but I am hoping through my rambling and babbling that you will understand! Thank you for sharing your day with me (us) and allowing me to share with you. Continued prayers and positive thoughts will be sent your way.

    ~Joy~

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    1. Joy, thank you! Your mother sounds like she was a very lovely person; I am very touched that you think I am a little like her! Thank you for sharing your memories of her.

      You are right. Things happen for a reason and that includes changes in health and people coming into and going out of our lives. We might not know the reason at the time, but later, looking back, we might connect the dots and find one. I think, what is important is, how we react to and handle what is happening. Every day I pray that I will be able to handle that day's happenings with grace. Often, I don't. But, that is what I strive for!

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  16. Continuing to send prayers and positive thoughts your way., my friend.

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    1. Thank you, Carolyn. They are much appreciated.

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