Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Eleven Years


Roses from the Garden for my Mother


Today is the 11th anniversary of my mother's death.  Sometimes, it feels like it was just yesterday.  I still miss her, every day.

Today has been another rainy day.  In the morning, I went to my doctor's appointment.  I have lost 2 lbs. more.  I turned in the record I had kept of my daily blood pressure and blood sugar readings for the past three weeks and she halved the dosage of one of my medications.  I am to continue to keep a record of my pressure and sugar readings and return for a follow-up visit in another three weeks' time.  She is also going to put in a request for an X-ray of my shoulder, as it still hurts from when I tripped and fell in January, just to see if there is a hair-line fracture. 

In the afternoon, the rain ceased for several hours.  I bought a bouquet of yellow chrysanthemums, which looked bright and cheerful on a rainy day like today, and visited my mother's grave.  She used to love it when I'd buy potted chrysanthemum plants and bring home to her.

As I was walking back from the grave site to my car, someone else who was at the cemetery approached me and started talking with me.  I had seen him earlier, leaving a grave site, when I got down from the car.  He was at the faucet, washing mud off his shoes when I went to fill the vase with water.  When he saw me waiting, he apologized and told me he had something on his shoes and asked if it was gone.  I said yes.  I saw him walking towards his car as I filled my vase and then, I went to my mother's grave.  I didn't think much about it, but when he headed towards his car, I assumed he was leaving (I thought he was washing his shoes off so he wouldn't get mud on his car mats).  I hadn't realized he had gone back to the grave site he had left earlier.  As I left my mother's grave, I saw that he was coming towards me and he said something about how hard it was to lose a loved one and I agreed with him and he chatted to me as we walked to where our cars were parked.  Somehow, in those 3 or 4 minutes it took for us to walk, he managed to tell me his name, where he was from, that he had a dog  and two cats, and that he was separated from his wife!  And then, he asked me if my husband was still alive!  Um...until then, I had thought that he was just a very friendly, outgoing person.  I hadn't thought that maybe he was trying to chat me up!  I simply said yes, my husband was still alive, and then I got into my car and drove off.  But not before he came over to the car to tell me more about himself and his grandmother who brought him up and whose grave he was visiting!  I was telling my daughter about it and she thought it was "creepy".  Come to think of it, the cemetery is a rather isolated place; there weren't any other people around!       

After I came home, I picked some roses from the garden to place on the mantel, near my mother's picture. Well, of course, Dancer had to come and check it out; he's sulking in this picture, because he started to eat one of the roses and I shouted at him!


"Mummy won't let me eat the roses!"

I had a cup of tea and a banana for breakfast; leftover rice, shrimp curry and stir-fried vegetables for a late lunch, after I came back from the cemetery. Sandwiches and an orange for dinner.

It started raining again in the evening and there's more rain in the forecast!  I think it is safe to say we are over the drought, now!  

Today, I am grateful for:
- Memories of my mother
- A good visit with the doctor
- Another medication dosage was lowered
- Safe drive to the clinic and back
- More rain for the garden

Today, I spent $15 for the dr's visit; $2 for parking; $6.50 for flowers.

How was your day?

16 comments:

  1. I would not like someone invading my space at a cemetery because it is a very isolated space. Fortunately my dad is invased in a columbarium at our church so visiting is never an isolated event.

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    1. Yes, as I was telling one of my friends yesterday, this particular part of the cemetery is very isolated and it would be easy to commit a crime and not be noticed. I've heard of purses being stolen from cars while people attended funerals. I generally don't carry my purse with me when I go to the grave site; I lock it up in the trunk of my car and have only my car keys and cell phone with me. But it wouldn't be too hard to wrest the keys from me, I suppose. Sigh. One more thing to be aware of, especially when we are feeling emotional after visiting a loved one's grave!

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  2. Oh Bless, I hope that my prediction that you might have a hairline fracture doesn't come true!

    Congrats on losing 2 more lbs!

    I'm torn about the man at the cemetery. He might have been very lonely and needed to connect with someone, yet it was ill-advised to do it when the other person is alone herself in a lonely place. I probably would have just smiled and not encouraged discussion, but I'm that way with everyone. I'm glad nothing happened but yes, you should be on alert when you visit a lonely place by yourself, it's sad to say.

    The roses are beautiful. Poor Dancer who wanted a little snack :) Maybe you could grow edible flowers for him? I wonder if nasturtium is safe for cats...

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    1. I was teasing my daughter that her Mama might be 61 and ravaged by the after effects of the cancer and treatment, but apparently she's still got "it"! LOL. Daughter was not amused! :D

      Dancer received a piece of lettuce leaf, instead. I really need to grow more cat grass for him.

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  3. Your roses are beautiful! Too bad for Dancer, though. :)

    What an odd experience at the cemetery. I'm glad you were able to rebuff his advances.

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    1. Thank you, Laura. Yes, it was an odd encounter, but I'm glad it didn't turn into a "situation". Moral of the story - don't talk to strangers who are rinsing off their shoes at the cemetery faucet! Pretend you don't speak either English or Spanish! :D

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  4. Beautiful photo of your mother. I recall when you would so enjoy returning home after work to see her. Such special times the two of you had ... daughter too.

    Good that you were on alert at the cemetery. My initial thought was that the guy just had to be a native Texan! Lol. We're a friendly bunch and strike up conversations with people we don't yet know. Haha!

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    1. Thank you, Carolyn. No, he wasn't from Texas! I normally don't talk to many strangers, but, very often, when I do (cashiers, the lady who checked me into the hospital when I went in for my surgery, etc.), they end up telling me their life story! It's something my daughter has pointed out to me, time and time again.

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    2. Are you sure YOU aren't really from Texas? Haha! You'd fit right in here. :)

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    3. No, just interested in people. :)

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  5. Bless, I can understand your wariness even thought the man in the cemetery might just have been lonely. After all, he did seem to be making a point of seeking you out more than once. Perhaps he didn't realize that it was not appropriate in such a lonely situation.

    I have never forgotten being spoken to by someone I will always think of as the "Illinois foot fetishist". We were visiting a place outside of Chicago and I was in a bookstore in a mall when a man came up to me and said "Ma'am, you sure have pretty toes!" I said a quick "Thank you" and got out of there in a hurry on my sandalled feet with their painted toenails. Alas, in my senior years my toes are not as pretty, although I do my best. Also, I no longer wear high-heeled sandals!

    Bushlady

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    1. Oh, Bushlady, that's funny, but no doubt took you aback at the time! It's been awhile since I last painted my toe nails! They were badly discolored as a result of the chemo, but the discoloration is slowly growing out. Maybe I'll paint them when the discoloration is all gone. :)

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  6. (((((HUGS)))) Your mother is a very beautiful lady. I have to agree with your daughter...that guy was kind of creepy asking if your husband was still alive. I'm a friendly person too and will strike up a conversation with just about anyone but he kind of took it from friendly to creepy. I'm glad you put an end to it.

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    1. Thank you, Debbie. He might have been perfectly harmless, but one can never be too careful. Better be safe than sorry, I guess. :)

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  7. Yes, it's very awkward when you want to be kind to someone and not treat everyone with suspicion, then suddenly you realise a line has been crossed which makes you feel slightly uncomfortable and it is hard to react without over-reacting. Sometimes people are desperate for company and have no idea how they come across. The one on the receiving end can never be sure of their intentions so can't help but be wary. I have had strangers mention my "husband" out of the blue and I can only assume they are fishing for information to steer the conversation, because I don't have a wedding ring, so ... relevance?!

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    1. Yes; I try to be polite, but, I guess politeness gets mistaken for something more? When that happens, I pretend that I am still married! :)

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